Retreat

Today I sat in a Catholic sanctuary at a monastery down the street from where I live. The first thing I noticed before I even opened the door was the smell of incense that reminded me of Dr. Carroll's comment, "these people know the SMELL of God." I won't dissect it, but I do feel a sense of reverence there in that place of quiet. People praying--an old woman in the back row silently mouthing something w/her eyes closed. A man in the front who, until now, had his head bowed this entire time. An Asian woman in the back corner, on her knees, yet upright looking statuesque staring towards the front...I thought perhaps she was in the wrong place... Candles were lit, statues of Jesus and Mary everywhere. Stained glass windows of what I assume are their regarded Saints.

I began my time this morning by reading Ps. 46 because I wanted to "be still and know that I am God." A great meditation emphasizing that God is our refuge and strength, never to leave us, powerful and present. Be still, and know THAT power and presence--obviously a challenge for me and my A.D.D. mind.

I had prayed and asked God to speak to me, as authentically as I am capable. After Ps. 46 I moved on to Ps. 47. I was thrilled to read "Clap your hands, all you nations; shout to God with cries of joy. How awesome is the Lord Most High, the great King over all the earth!" This was exceptional because we are slated to sing Awesome is the Lord Most High this weekend and for a little while now I've been asking myself "is God teaching me anything lately that I can share with my people that would applicable?" This may be it: a simple verse from scripture...if I can pull it off in efficient and succinct form...

As I was praying earlier, as usual, my mind wandered off into a song: "be near, O God, be near, O God, Your nearness is to me, my good." Great song to pray, and very applicable for the now. I don't know if it's good or bad that I can't always find my own words...I guess with my memory I simply need be thankful for being able to recall the good things I can.

Anyways, it took me back to my favorite Psalm, 73. Asaph is comparing his wretched state in the world compared to those who don't know and honor God, yet have health, wealth, and happiness; complaining that they live a better life than he. I love this Psalm because he explains all his complaining, but then has his "ah ha moment" in verse 17 when he says "till I entered the sanctuary of God..."

21. "When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you. But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds."

Here's a song I used to play and sing for a number of years almost every time I picked up my guitar: