I hate school

I know it's necessary, but i really do hate school. I always get an internal shudder when I say that word. It's not a nice word and I'm glad I've been conditioned to choose it carefully. But as you see, I said it.

I do enjoy most of what i'm learning. Education is a big world. There's sooo much knowledge out there. but let me say a thing or two about the institution of education.

I got home tonight ready to prepare for sleep with the ugly hope of getting up at 6:00 a.m. to finish studying for my 9:30 final and realized, "I've been in over my head with books and papers for so many days now, that I've neglected my blogs!" I don't even mean my writing, but also my reading. I know some think blogs are a waste of time, and trust me, I have spent many hours reading them when I should be being "productive." But one thing that has me following them: gaining people perspective. What's going on in the heads of people today? That's an education too, if you ask me (I realize you haven't).

When you're stuck in the books the world goes away. A few weeks ago I had some dialogue with my campus pastor, basically some stream of consciousness, and admitted, "you know what? I work for a church. I attend a seminary. I learn and read the scriptures almost everyday. I sing to Him everyday. But i haven't talked to Him in the longest time." How pathetic. I hate school. The even more interesting thing is that I came to that realization while trying to encourage a friend of mine through his addiction struggles.

So. I took a moment tonight to see if my friends had updated blogs. One friend posted this:

"Trust that grows in the soil of the Promises of God diminishes the weeds of fear, guilt, and anxiety and produces flowers of hope and confidence. When hope and confidence start to bloom, the Spirit of Christ in us has become a reality."

that's what I'd call the goal of counseling. That's what "self-actualizing" should be. That's what the "healing process" can be.